FAKE FRIENDS… FIND ‘EM OUT!!

Published March 18, 2012 by That Crazy African Chick

So True!

I think the one thing our parents forgot to tell us as we were growing up was that not everything lasts forever, your closest friend might end up being your worst enemy and that as you progress in life you are going to have people befriending you for their own personal benefits but once you hit your lowest points, they’d disappear, and would suddenly develop selective amnesia about ever knowing you.

The other day, a friend of mine put this short story as his update on Facebook:

“A young mosquito went out flying for the first time in its life. When it came back, the father asked, how was it out there and how did you feel? The young mosquito replied, it was great daddy, everyone was clapping for me.

The father replied: “No one was clapping for you. Everyone wanted to kill you. The more they clapped the more chances you were likely to die.

LESSON: In life, not all the people who celebrate with you are well-wishers.”

And how true is this story?? I mean, how many times have we had our ‘friends’ say how proud they are of us but immediately you have something bad going on in your life, they stop talking to you and develop this negative attitude towards you. Am a diehard reggae fan and I was listening to Cecile’s part in faithful riddim “ find em out, find em out, find em out you hafi find em out it took me a little while, better late than never now we have them found!” Find out who your true, ride or die friends are, because this world gets lonely sometimes and you do not want to seek company in a fake friend. They will kill your ambition, kill your reputation, leave you at your most fragile moments and turn up when you’ve risen from your ashes. FIND ‘EM OUT!!

And most of us know who they are so for once in your life how about you stop being so nice; let them know what you think about them by cutting all ties with them. No need in keeping a poisonous snake by your bedside every time you go to bed hoping you’ll wake up alive the next day, FIND ‘EM OUT!

IF YOUR CURVY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS :)

Published March 15, 2012 by That Crazy African Chick

TELL ME!!

If there’s one thing African men should be proud of its their women!!! There is no other continent that has this many curvy women. So its always funny when am reading celebrity gossip and writers are praising Kim Kardashian’s body, whose a 34-26-39, barely curvy in Africa!! 34?? 34??????? i had size 34 boobs when i started highschool, lol, am at 38 now, hallelujah to that 😀 but it seems they’ve stopped growing, haha.

AFRICA IS THE LAND OF CURVES! And am not talking about bought curves, am talking about real natural shit! So it really saddens me when i see girls trying to lose their curves so that they can look like those runway models. What the fuck is a size zero??  Because why the hell would i want to be a size nothing? Like how do you even wear a dress without a size? i wanna say am a size 8, not a size zerrooooo! And speaking of, when did size 8 stop becoming the fad? Because  i woke up one day and it was more fashionable to have your ribs hanging out of your chest. Ladies, embrace those curves, because they kill men!! i can’t tell you how many times i’ve had conversations with guys and the only thing that comes up is ASS, ASS, ASS or BOOBS, BOOBS,BOOBS! Yes, i check out girls too,lol… but no, am not a lesbian, 100% straight!!

Nothiiiiing 🙂

And for those girls who aren’t blessed with curves, please don’t go buy those butt enhancing creams or whatever, because what happens when they backfire and you have one ass cheek thats bigger than the other? Just flaunt what you’ve got!! And for those not blessed in the chest area, thats why we’ve got padded bra’s!! Men would be so shocked if they knew the difference these bra’s make! no, she’s no pamela anderson, just a girl with a padded bra 🙂

So ladies, embrace that ass,swing it everytime you walk, hold your boobs in public if it makes you feel better,haha… because no one was created like you and you’re beautiful just the way you are, FUCK SOCIETY,ROCK THOSE DAMN CURVES! And lets make size zero soooooo last year 🙂

THE MEN IN HER LIFE

Published March 12, 2012 by That Crazy African Chick

So in every girls life there are different type of men, that make or break her,

MR WRONG

You have the random men that will pass through your life, the ugly frogs, metaphorically speaking ofcourse. Your going to kiss them, your going to get disappointed but thats life. And whats life without it’s challenges 🙂 and you might think that you’ll never find that guy you’ve been waiting for, note i didn’t say “the one”  too effin cliche!!  but trust me at the end of that line of ugly frogs, will be that fine ass nigga you’ve always wanted  :p

You have that one ex that you and everyone else can’t seem to forget, your friends do not get why you ever dated, but thats the thing, no one will ever understand, and there’s some sought of beauty in that 🙂 its that ex that you love to hate but still can’t forget coz you shared the best moments ever. That ex that brought along so much drama but upto today, the whole drama just seemed worth it…spiced up your life. That ex that you planned a whole future with but who knew the future he talked about was tomorrow and not the days after, yeah, that ex, and its upto you to decide if you want to let his memory burn you to the ground, or whether you’ll rise above the drama and be your own separate entity without having his name mentioned every single time someone talks about you.

SHE LOVES ME NOT

You have that one guy that’s always there for you, through the good and bad,the tears and the laughs. That guy thats always worried if your not happy, that guy that you probably don’t know you need, and by the time you do, it might be too late.Coz all he wants is you, and its about time you realised that true love isn’t that fairytale you read when you were 10, true love is the way he looks at you, treats you, the little things he does for you, that you take for granted. He is true love.

I LOVE MY DAD!

Then you have your dad, the one man that at the end of the day is going to have your back through thick or thin, you might hate him now, but trust me, he’s the only man thats going to treat you like the princess you are.Your father.  And the only thing he has at the back of his head during a shitty day, are your needs. Appreciate him while you still can. And with that I LOVE MY FATHER, FREDRICK M NDONYE! Coz he treats me like the princess i am, and he’s always got my back, even through all the shit i’ve put him through. And Lord knows i am not the type of daughter anyone would wish for,lol.. And am sorry i never appreciated you sooner daddy 🙂

S/O TO THAT FAKE NIGGA!! WE LOVE YOU!

Published March 9, 2012 by That Crazy African Chick

Yeah so I know you probably wondering why am giving shout outs to fake people but unlike thee am willing to appreciate their unwanted existence,lol. So shout out to you if you’re fake, yes, I appreciate you!! I know you can all relate to this post 🙂

Shout out to that fake bitch that watched you getting hurt in a relationship and did nothing to help you, that bitch that knew you were gonna get hurt but waited for you to get hurt then showered you with her sympathy.

Shout out to that fake bitch (nigga) who “twangs” like what the fuck is that?

Ok I know some people went to really good schools so if they talked like that I would never blame them but you who went to sijui Kingang’op boys, where did you get that fancy accent from mate? Yeah and also that lawyer supporting that motion that sex workers should have rights! RIGHTS? Like is that a fucking joke? Yeah, so that’s beside the point, in fact that will be a whole other post but shout out to her “twang” LOL

Shout out to that fake bitch that watches television and borrows personalities. Some retarded shit! Lol.

Shout out to that fake bitch (nigga) that LIES FOREVER!

yeah you pathological liar, see a psychiatrist please!! What is the use of lying? People who love you for you will accept you the way you are, stop lying!! And if they can’t accept you am sure someone else will.

Shout out to that fake bitch (nigga) who chooses to judge someone based on what they’ve heard without any proof. You are not innocent yourself! And karma is a serious bitch, so trust we all need each other at a point. CHANGE!

Shout out to that fake bitch nigga who acts like a bitch, and am not talking about gay people (bitch not to mean woman) so don’t misquote me! Am talking about those boys who sit around and gossip like mama mboga’s. Am talking about those boys who make up fake stories about sleeping with mama’s they haven’t even said hi too! Am talking about those boys who know how to call women whores when they are the real whores. And lastly am talking about that bitch nigga that hates you for no apparent reason, yeah shout out to you and FUCK YOU.

YeaH!

Shout out to fake bitch niggas who act like women, haha, yes, WOMEN, no am still not talking about gays, am talking about those guys who throw tantrums in a relationship, that guy who makes you feel like you’re responsible for everything that goes wrong in that relationship, nagging and nagging and NAGGING! that guy that blames you for everything, that guy that’s just a fucking woman. Oh, and that guy that cries for no apparent reason! I don’t have a problem with guys crying, it’s refreshing sometimes but seriously si you just act like you have the balls in the relationship??

Shout out to fake bitches that spread their legs to get ahead. AIDS is real woman! And I do not get why nowadays women are more scared of getting pregnant than getting AIDS.  Get ahead to mean, sleeping around to get ahead at work, or sleeping around to get what she wants, like getting a guys kid so as to keep him. Btw, word to the boys, nowadays there are some psycho women out there, watch out, know who you fuck, coz when she wants you she will do ANYTHING to keep you. Even drug you and rape you, and can you imagine trying to explain to your boys that a mama raped you? LOL. WATCH OUT.

And lastly, shout out to fake bitches that interfere in peoples relationships. It isn’t your relationship so what the fuck is your problem? Why you so nosy?  Whatever problem someone has with their guy is their problem, bitch get lost. Yeah and some guys also do that shit nowadays, fake bitch nigga! Act like a fucking man!

So yeah, SHOUT OUT TO THAT FAKE BITCH(NIGGA) we love you!

But What Are YOU SO SCARED OF?

Published March 4, 2012 by That Crazy African Chick

Remember when we were kids? And we thought we were the coolest people. It didn’t matter what we had on, where we were going to school, we all had our own different personalities that we couldn’t wait to show the world.

But what happened when we grew up? I’ll tell you what happened, we started caring.

Image

As much as caring is a wonderful trait, it could also be the beginning of the end of you as an individual with your own different and separate perspective of life, what you love, who you are as a person and your principles.

I’ve always been that person who doesn’t care, well according to my friends, a free thinker, say what i want to say, when i want to say it. But am not going to lie and say i never cared about what people thought of me. There are times in my life when i would want to do something and the first thing that would pop out of my head was, ” what will guys think of this” (BTW, SERIOUSLY FUCK THAT QUESTION)  Plus uni didn’t make things better,most people there just wanna be cool, at the expense of anything. But it got so tiring. And as much as you try to please everyone, no one is trying to please you. So i stopped caring what people thought about me. Like fuck, whats the worst that could happen?

Image

Speak your mind, do what you’ve always wanted to do, because you came into this world ALONE and your going to leave this world ALONE. Life is so short people, so what are you scared of? People are always going to talk so why not give them something to talk about 🙂 If you have a dream go for it, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t because they don’t have a right to tell you what you can or cannot do. Fear is paralysing. If you let it get to you, you won’t get anywhere in life. You don’t want to be 40 and wondering what if?

And if you know the people around you always discourage you why not change the crowd you hang with? Your environment shapes you as a person, you don’t want a negative one.

And another thing, the law of attraction always works you become what you think. If your always going to walk around sulking complaining how much bad luck you have then bad luck you will always have. Be positive,be happy, be hopeful, remove all negative energy inside you. So if you want that dream of yours to come true, you better believe that it already has 🙂

Be different, thats what makes life interesting, don’t be a copy.Stop caring, do what you want to do, say what you want to say, go for your dreams.

Have a wonderful day people 🙂

SMELLY SMELLY :(

Published February 29, 2012 by That Crazy African Chick

So as i write this new post, the dude intfront of me in the comp lab just released some sick disgusting fatal fart. Was it so hard for him to just walk out of the lab and fart outside? Its actually sad. Stop farting in public people!!! NOT COOL.

Anyway, thats not what i wanted to discuss today 🙂

So i’ve come to realise that some people have issues showering in the morning. There’s nothing as bad as taking public transport to school everyday and having some smelly dude next to you!!! Yeah, and whats up with bad breath? As in seriously, how expensive is toothpaste?  And you with the bad breath, have the nerve to hit on a woman? Moving close to her when you talk thinking your being sooo seductive but your actually just plain disgusting. ( Due to equal gender rights i shall include the words vice versa ) I will give free lunch the day i spend a whole day without encountering bad breath, yes free lunch,lol.

Spread the word people, we’ll save a nation from bad breath!!! And girl, if your man has bad breath just tell him, nothing as bad as pretending your enjoying a kiss from a smelly smelly dude. Yes new vocab, smelly smelly : someone who farts alot or  has a fatal odour or has bad breath, or someone who always stinks of sweat. Ya’ll know sweat stiiiiiiiinks, gets worse as the day progresses.

Yeah, and women, Shave your armpits!! I know thats besides the point but i just had to, no one wants to see your hairs, yup, not interested 🙂

Good day people!!

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